Will it hurt if I leave you? Or if you leave me?
by Furious Fox
Summary: Another Phanfiction, Where Phil freaks out when Dan leaves. Some other things happen too...
1. Why?

Phil's POV

"I'm headed out for a bit" Dan said shutting the door leaving the thought's to rush in, He is never coming back, He figured out and now he hates you. "NO!" I shouted, I could since Dan was out, He has been leaving a lot lately. It gave me time to think without being interrupted. I shut my laptop and slowly climbed out of bed, Making my way down the hall and turned towards the bathroom door, Or the room that had our shower and sink, I found a razor blade on the counter. Not thinking I immediately picked it up and placed it on my wrist. I snapped back into reality when you phone buzzed, It was a text from Dan, He said 'Hey Phil, is it okay if I bring my girlfriend home?' I looked at it and scoffed 'No, I don't want her to see me like this' I texted back 'Like what Phil? you look fine' He replied, Oh if only he knew I thought 'That's not what I meant' I replied

Dan's POV

My phone buzzed and I checked it 'That's not what I meant' Phil texted me. The truth is I didn't have a Girlfriend I made her up because i want people to think i'm straight, But i'm not, I fancy Phil, I don't know why but I do, I have for a long time really. But what is up with him. "Listen guys, I have to go" I said standing up "Whoa Dan, Sit down" John replied, He was my mean friend that was always forcing me to do things, I hate him really, I don't know why I hang out with him. "But I have to-" He cut me off "Dan, Were having fun" John replied "I don't have to follow you're orders! I'm out! I'm done with you forever" I yelled and walked out, I texted Phil 'I'm on my way, Don't do anything stupid Phil please, I need you'

Phil's POV

I have made 3 cuts so far, they weren't deep enough though, The next 4 were deeper but still not deep enough, My phone buzzed and I checked it 'I'm on my way, Don't do anything stupid Phil please, I need you' I didn't reply and I made the next 5 cuts really deep, but again it wasn't deep enough, I decided it was enough on me for one night and went into my room, watching the crimson colour bleed out of my left arm. Just then I heard the door unlock and I quickly put on a sweatshirt, it was the Adventure Time sweatshirt. I heard Dan run through the halls and knock on my door "Come in" I said weakly. Dan pushed the door open and rushed toward me "Oh Phil, Are you okay?" Dan asked NO "Yeah, If thats what you wanna think, where is you're girlfriend, I thought you were bringing her home" I said, felling stupid "I don't have a girlfriend I made her up" Dan said "Why would you do that?" I asked "Because people always question my sexuality, I figured faking a girlfriend would be the best way to go" Dan explained "So what are you?" I asked "I-I'm gay" Dan said "Dan it's okay, I'm gay too" I said. "And, I'm sorry" I said "For what?" Dan asked "I did something you told me never to do" I said. Dan's eyes widened with shock, he knew what I was talking about "Phil" Dan muttered looking down "Take off the sweatshirt" Dan demanded glancing up, I pulled the sweatshirt up making 12 cuts visible to him, most of them were still bleeding. Dan sat up and hugged me "Phil i'm sorry I should've told you sooner!" Dan exclaimed tightening his grip around me "Told me?" I asked "Phil I love you, I should've never faked having a girlfriend!" Dan exclaimed pulling away "Dan, I love you to, I feel very stupid for not telling you" I said "So what do you say Phil? Wanna be a bit more than friends?" Dan asked "Yes Dan, I would love to be your boyfriend" I said, Dan hugged me and grabbed my hand leading me to our bathroom where the than cleaned each cut and kissed each cut. "I love you, I feel so stupid for doing that" I said "Don't, I will always love you no matter what you do, You are my insane baby" Dan replied, This is when I knew I was really in love.


	2. Urges

Phil's POV

It has been a few days since Dan and I were officially dating, I would always give him surprise hugs, or as I call them hug attacks. It was one night when it hit me, "it" being my foggy memory. I remember a few nights ago getting extremely woozy/drunk. I remember cutting myself, the relief. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. _I felt happy,_ but that didn't make sense because Dan made me happy too. Dan _still_ makes me happy,but how that cold razor felt against my smooth skin, how it bubbled up just minutes after. "No" I whispered, I pulled myself into the hallway and stopped in front of Dan's room, At this point I had 2 choices, 1. Feel the relieving feeling of the razor back on my skin, And risk my relationship with Dan. 2. Talk to Dan about it and get help from him. I went with choice 2, I knocked softly on Dan's door, Just encase he was asleep "Come in, Philly" He responded I pushed open the door seeing Dan's dark figure sit up, His room was always darker than mine. I found it unfair, "Hi, Bear" I said "Hey, Did you need something?" Dan asked "Dan I am getting urges to cut myself again" I said "Philly, It isn't worth it, It's not gonna change anything" Dan said "I'm scared that if I leave I will get the urges again" I said "Stay with me, I want you to be safe" Dan said with his soothing voice. "Okay" I said, Dan lifted up his blanket inviting me cuddle with him. I climbed in with him and got comfy, I lay my head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around me, Sleeping was easy that night.


End file.
